Home FEATURES Dear Santa: The Kiwi league Christmas wishlist

Dear Santa: The Kiwi league Christmas wishlist

Dear Santa: The Kiwi league Christmas wishlist

‘Tis the season to be asking for stuff, so we’ve had a crack at guessing what some of New Zealand league’s leading identities have jotted down on their list for Santa. (SATIRE).

Benji Marshall – Kiwi legend

Kia ora Santa,

I’ve been a good boy throughout my career. My flamboyant highlight reels have earned the sport millions of YouTube views, I’m responsible for one of the most memorable Grand Final plays of all time and I’ve helped the Kiwis win 15 Test matches. Now I just want the chance to finish my career in first-grade at a club in Australasia.


Michael Maguire – Kiwis coach

Gday Santa,

I know many of my predecessors have requested this at some stage, but this year I’m asking for Queensland and New South Wales to stop stealing my players. Moeaki Fotuaika – he’s from Gisborne which is quite a long way from Queensland – would have looked great in my front-row rotation, while former Junior Kiwis captain Jarome Luai would have been a handy man to partner Shaun Johnson, Dylan Brown or Kieran Foran in the halves, had he not been scooped up by NSW.


Greg Peters – NZ Rugby League CEO

Dear Santa,

They say it’s the thought that counts, but what I really need is some cold hard cash for the NZRL coffers. That means some meaningful pre-World Cup Test matches next season, and if it’s not too much to ask can some of them be on Kiwi soil, please?


Nathan Brown – NZ Warriors coach

Hello Santa,

On the 22nd day of Christmas the injury gods gave to me… a depth problem at dummy-half. Nathaniel Roache is off enjoying all that #PARRAdise has to offer in Sydney’s west, Karl Lawton is gone with an Achilles injury and my train-and-trial project Jayden Nikorima is also injured. Unless you can convince Kodi Nikorima that he wants to be a hooker instead of a half, I might need some help for Wayde Egan at No.9.


Roger Tuivasa-Sheck – NZ Warriors captain


Nobody in rugby league knows more about leading a team through a global pandemic than I do. I even won an award for it. I just want to help out, so get your reindeers together and let’s gone.

(Photo: Roger Tuivasa-Sheck-Sheck. Credit: Lex Wright).